October 8, 2010

This has been bugging me...

Posted by Becka
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I know this woman, her daughter goes to school with my daughter. She has 2 girls, but is divorced from the dad. He is remarried, and they have a son.

What has been bugging me is, besides the fact she wants to come over EVERY.SINGLE.DAY, is the stories she tells me.

Ok so as I said, they are divorced. Now, in a TYPICAL storybook divorce (does that exist?!) the parents get about equal time, and USUALLY the mother is the one with main custody. Especially here in NY! Well, the dad has main custody. Not only that, she can not pick them up any sooner then 2:30 (this includes summer!!) since that is when the bus would drop them off. She has to have them back to him by 5:30 (or apparently he gets PISSED), and she has them every other weekend...UNLESS he decides (and without telling her, which she has no say in) he wants to take them somewhere for that weekend.

Now, here is what bugs me, and makes me think THIS is part of the reason for her not having custody and limited visitation of the girls...

He owns the house she lives in, which she is renting...which he recently sold out from under her, making her have to find a place to live. And according to the 2 girls, he has video of her house. Why you ask? you ever seen the show Hoarders? Yea she could probably use a visit. But it is not just the house...every time she comes over or I see her, her car is FILLED with grocery bags of STUFF, almost to the point where the 2 girls can barely fit into the car! And she brings 4 or 5 of those bags in with her, every time! I have NO clue what is in them, and, really, I am not sure I WANT to!

And every time she comes over, I hear ANOTHER story of how she is the victim and how he is controlling more and more of her time with the girls. And when I see how the girls interact with her (more like she is a nanny or babysitter, then their mom, especially in the attitudes they give her) it makes me wonder what kind of person she REALLY is! In fact, my husband has told me to not let her over anymore...and I am starting to agree. Problem is, I have a hard time saying no, when my daughter is upset she can't play with her friends. Though, she has plenty, so not sure why she always wants THEM over lol.

This woman keeps wanting to have a moms night out, or hang out without kids...and I just do not feel a friendship there, enough to do so. I may be mean, but I just can not get past a lot of issues she has, and the stories she tells me. It kind of makes me want to call the father and ask WHY he doesn't just take them a RUN!

I have also seen how controlling she is with the girls (most moms tell their kids not to tattle, where she seems to NEED to know EVERY detail of what they are doing, as well as almost basically having to have them in the same room with her at all times, not even letting them play outside without her). And I have seen her own children YELL at her when she tries to look in their backpacks...which, BTW, she is not given copies of papers sent home, forms, etc... and is also, she claimed, the LAST person on the contact card for the school).

Another thing that gets me, is when she picks them up, usually at his mothers house, she is to ring the doorbell, and go back to her car, not waiting for them at the door. She has also been told she HAS to have a car with them, and can not walk with them anywhere. I have never seen this kind of control with a divorced couple.

I guess this is my ramble for now! I just need to learn to say NO when she calls DAILY, asking if the can come over. Since she has no cell phone or internet, she apparently needs hobbies! Though, I have ignored her and she has just shown up at my house. Normally, I don't mind this with friends, but with HER I cringe every time I see a reflection of what seems like someone pulling up in my driveway!


Stay at home, business owning mom of 4 young kids, Nick the Sportsman, Michele the Princess, Wyatt the Wild One, and Evan the Baby. Bachelor in Early Childhood Development and Education, with 20 years experience. I could not ask for anything more!


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